Henry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
necrowmantic) wrote2015-01-22 03:43 am
necrowmantic) wrote2015-01-22 03:43 am
Entry tags:
[Application | Carvaka]
APPLICATION
▸PLAYER
Name: Siren
Means of Contact:![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
blackbirding
Age: 30
▸CHARACTER
Name: Henry
Canon: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Age: ~20
Canon Point: Endgame: Grima
Background Information: (for the character) (for the game)
Personality:
One of the easiest things to notice about Henry is his optimism. His good-nature is untouchable, his laughter so common as to be a verbal tic in itself. It doesn't matter if he's insulted or threatened, if the barn's on fire, or the world is ending; nothing phases or upsets him, and the idea of keeping a grudge is a complete unknown. Though not particularly social, and with little-to-no experience with things like "friendship", his easygoing nature would make coexisting with him simple enough- if one can get over the fact that he's also overwhelmingly, shamelessly, morbid.
His attachment to death is nothing short of obsession. Anything terrible, anything gory and violent will attract his attention, and he'll volunteer as much as you (don't) want to hear about all the people he's killed. And it's not like this affects his disposition; Henry is exactly as cheerful when he's talking about blowing up foes, as he is about anything else (not that he talks about much else). People dying horribly is his most favorite topic, and he'll discuss everything with an ever-present smile.
But his form of enthusiasm can't be mistaken for excitement. Despite his professed love for battle and slaughter, he never loses control, is never taken by blood-lust or anything more than a cheerful appreciation for killing. His attitude remains unchanging, and his roster description in game names him "the one with the lowest heart rate." More than one character notes that they can't feel anything from Henry past that cordial morbidity, that for as friendly as he acts, it's ultimately hollow. Henry claims to not understand what they mean, laughing and changing the subject as soon as possible.
But regardless of his awareness of it, Henry doesn't feel much. If it weren't for the morbidity, it could seem like a net gain; he's not depressed or angry about the kind of life he's had, and he's free of things like anxiety or regret. Even if he's not genuinely happy, nor is he upset or dissatisfied.
If other characters are asked about their dreams, the answers are overwhelmingly positive. They want to be a fantastic knight, or to live a happy life- the worst is just refusing to answer. In contrast: "I want to die a horrible, bloody death that's completely painless....I don't like ouchies."
It's said alongside the same cheerfulness as anything else, and on its own it's just another example of his usual morbidity. But there's a pattern of depreciation in much of his dialogue, of having a lowered value towards himself and his own life. Henry appreciates threats, and will go out of his way to make his carnage sound as random and unsympathetic as possible, encouraging others to think poorly of him. He considers himself an "egoist," and avoids acknowledging ever doing anything for a non-selfish, non-violent reason. On the rare occasion when he's praised, he brushes it off or turns it back into a compliment for the other person. The only time when he accepts a "positive," or admits to being good at something, is when it's about his ability for murder.
It's not as though this personality happened overnight, and is more-or-less the direct result of his upbringing. His parents were neglectful, abandoning him to the forest during his youngest years, and Henry was primarily raised by animals instead of people. A wolf in particular was his best friend- at least, until she was killed by adults, after coming into his village to look for him. Henry murdered everyone involved, in what was likely a uncontrolled display, and it's implied that this was when his magical power really started to manifest.
At some point after this he was sent away to an orphanage/school, where his guardians were extremely abusive. Henry's vague about the details, only bringing up bits of it in passing, and claiming to not remember when pressed for more information. And even when he does say anything, he's light about it, looking back on punishments that he admits almost killed him as though they were fun. As an additional bonus, the experiences left him with permanent nerve damage, severely limiting his ability to feel pain. But he credits the place with developing his cheerful personality, and is quite agreeable to how he's ended up. Henry appears mostly in denial or unaware of his own psychological damage. He also mentions casting a hex that killed over a hundred people while he was there- and though it's unspecified when or how he left the facility, it's not hard to assume that mass-murder was involved.
And when it comes to other people, Henry is not good at considering them as people. Foes are great and fun to slaughter, and even allies are seen in much the same light. This was exceptionally true when he was with the Plegian army (Plegia being his home country), as he stayed there for only as long as it was interesting, and never formed any real connections to anyone. And fighting for Plegia never translated to caring remotely for their goals; he deliberately informs Plegia's enemies of a planned assassination of the Ylissen leader, purely to draw out the war they were in.
There was only one Plegian that Henry was said to listen to: a commander named Mustafa, who in Henry's own words, treated him as family. Mustafa's presence was enough to keep him around, even reliable- "docile and obedient" from the perspective of other soldiers. It's entirely possible that the man was the first human in his life to treat him kindly- but at that point in time, Henry was still incapable of things like empathy or sorrow, and when Mustafa was killed in battle, he was never shown to feel anything at all towards his death. But with the one person who could keep him in check gone, it was only a matter of time before his interests conflicted with the army's.
Loyalty wasn't a concept that existed to him. So when he came across a masked Ylissen fighting on 'his' own against a group of Plegians, Henry decided it would be much more interesting to switch sides in order to help out the lone knight. That this meant murdering his former comrades was only a bonus. Helping out the masked warrior a couple other times before the war's end, they amiably parted ways- Henry off to look for bloodier pastures.
It's two years later that he joins up with the protagonists properly, coming across their force by chance and deciding that he'd have more opportunities to kill people if he was with them.
(He was right.)
And it's only then that Henry begins to develop at all. It's definitely not something he puts any thought behind, and is surprised when the shift in his thinking is pointed out to him (a shift from "it would be fun to fight my friends to the death" to realizing he'd actually be very angry if anything happened to them).
To some degree, Henry is aware that he's not good with humans, and that his sense of morality is "a little messed up." He's honest about it when it comes up, and doesn't have any shame about his lack of humanity. And over time, with the way interaction works in Fire Emblem, Henry is capable of forming supports with other characters, and some semblance of genuine connection. He still doesn't get emotional about it, and tends to laugh off direct questions about friendship, but it is certain that when he cares about someone, he does so very intensely. If he avoids questions, it's not out of fear or embarrassment, but more an aversion to serious thought. And when he does admit to caring or love, it's abrupt and casual and entirely sincere. It's possible for him to marry/have a kid in game, and if so his epilogue states that he "became a surprisingly good father."
On the flip side, most characters consider Henry unpleasant and creepy when they first meet him. And when they meet him the second time. Henry doesn't mind this at all, and likes everyone as a default (in a "would be happy to cut open" kind of way).
He also thinks turning into animals would be pretty awesome, and loves the idea of horrible bodily mutations in general.
Appearance: Here
Abilities:
As a dark mage, Henry is capable of magic which falls into two main categories: tome spells and hexes/curses. Tomes are the equippable "weapons" mages carry in the game, each book containing a single type of spell with a limited number of uses. Tomes are elemental in nature (creating a burst of fire, or wind, etc.), are always aggressive, and rarely have any secondary effect. Hexes on the other hand, canon is delightfully vague about. They range from killing, altering memory or emotion, to minor, harmless things like giving someone a perpetually runny nose. Though it can't be used for outright healing, some illnesses can be "cured" by death-hexing the disease itself. At its core, hexing seems to be a match of wills; cursing an object or weak-minded human (or for that matter, a volunteer) is much easier than the alternative.
Though Henry's considered to be exceptionally good at hexing, he's limited by what he thinks is interesting, or has some motivation to figure out (which usually boils down to "can I kill someone with this?" Though he did attempt to come up with a curse for creating life, after noticing how much of a hindrance pregnancy could be for women. It didn't work.). Lack of materials can also keep a hex from being possible; the more dangerous or invasive a curse, the more likely he'll need some kind of catalyst for it. Additionally, most of his hexing in canon is done to nameless/generic soldiers, who presumably have much lower willpower than Player Characters. Of course, nothing would ever be attempted on characters without player consent.
On the non-magical side, Henry's near-inability to feel pain is sort of an ability. Though it can mean not noticing wounds, and bleeding out from them, which is something of a disadvantage. Henry also claims to be able to communicate with animals (and plants, anything that's alive). It's hard to tell whether this is a real ability, or a delusion (or just him making shit up), but he is good at reading body language in any case, and animals seem to like him. Crows in particular tend to congregate around him.
▸SAMPLES:
First Person: Here
Third Person:
Sand. The heat of the sun on his back. Henry comes to slowly, ground shifting underneath his palms as he pushes himself up, the movement awkward and disoriented. Looking up—
Ow. The mage winces, shielding his eyes from the glare; the sun was definitely in full force today. For a place that worshiped an apocalyptic dragon, Plegia sure was bright a lot of the time. Glancing to the side, blinking as his vision came back, Henry could see the worn bones of Grima's corpse (or a life-sized effigy, no one was really sure) jutting up from the ground, a stretch of backbone and cracked ribs. Even mostly buried by sand, the fragment reached meters above the ground, exposed and lifeless and very very bright. The very heart of Plegia.
The rough voice of a crow rouses him further, and Henry watches as it lands on one of the outcroppings of bone, a tiny, dark blight on the surface.
He shakes his head at it, getting from his knees to his feet, brushing sand off as he went. "Mm, I dunno where they are either."
Wait. They? It wasn't his Ylissen friends who came to mind, but others. A veritable rainbow of colors and shapes, people from entirely different worlds—
He remembered. He was home, but he remembered somehow, who knows how, and a sense of... several things all at once washed through him. Relief. A bit of loss? A look to his left hand showed a mess of scarring—but then he had just cut the top half of it off, it hadn't had time to heal more than that, even accelerated. Did that mean all his scars were intact?
Not that his surroundings made much sense either. There were no signs of people at all—and as desert as it was, Plegia's capital was set near Grima's bones, so there were always soldiers. Citizens of the city. Maybe they were all dead? But the sun was out, and there was no sign of the revived dragon anywhere.
Well, whatever. Sure, he couldn't make sense of any of this, and sure, he was still a bit giddy from the (unusually strong) actual emotion he'd had a minute ago, but whatever had happened, he wasn't too concerned. Maybe if he climbed up Grima's back he'd be able to see something more, or at least pick a direction to go in.
The bones are brittle under his hands, but Henry is light. They creak, but hold, and the crow keeps pace with him, flapping to ever higher knobs, cawing its encouragement (and impatience). It wasn't long until he'd reached the upper arc of bone, and if he tilted his head up—
Thump.
Reaching a hand above him—and oh, he'd just bumped his head on the sky, that was all. A second after that sank in, Henry sat down to consider, legs dangling over creaking bone. The sound he makes is purely quizzical.
It was still too bright to look at directly, but if he leaned his head, shielded his eyes a little—the sky was painted on. Painted on and impossibly realistic, and as his fingers brushed over the invisible grain, the texture didn't match the light or heat he could feel from it.
There was only one thing for it; humming a spell to himself, Henry reached up and touched the sky. And the sky cracked and crumbled, falling down in shining pieces, and once he'd made a hole big enough, Henry pushed his head through the clouds to see what was on the other side.
"Is anyone theeeeere...?!" Maybe there were monsters! And his head was in just the perfect position for a chomp. All he needed now was to get their attention.
▸ADDITIONS FOR CR TRANSFER FROM ANOTHER GAME:
Name of the Game: Ophiuchus
Length of Time in Game: Eight months
Summary of the Character's Activities:
Apart from that, he went on all the camping trips (because why not, maybe there was danger there!), and annoyed several people with his addition of crows to the Ophiucian environment.
Summary of the Character's Development:
Henry's development in Ophiuchus is partially a continuation of his development from canon—that he's still learning how humans interact, and that some people have a value beyond how fun they would be to kill (though that idea still remains his default). He was actually quite content there, despite the lack of battles—as he became attached to several people in a way that he hadn't at home (as he came in without an S-support). That it was even possible to attach to people in a non-war, non-military setting was a new idea in itself. Because of the game's sexual aspect, it forced more of a personal connection with others, even in casual encounters. It was a way of interacting with people that was practically unknown to him—and which worked oddly well, as it didn't rely on talking about "feelings" or silly things like that. And it was satisfying to be in a situation where expressing things like affection was more straightforward and physical (since even when sex wasn't involved, contact was more appropriate than it would've been in a normal world).
He was also able to experience death, which, honestly, was a huge deal to him, considering his obsession with it. It's non-permanence didn't lessen his enjoyment at all, but as he had sex at the same time, it really hastened his mental connection between the two.
By the end of his stay there, as more and more people were disappearing, the awareness that everything he had was ultimately impermanent was something that he couldn't entirely ignore. There was a sense of dissatisfaction that he was unequipped to deal with, that everyone he had could vanish into nothing, or that he could be pulled away himself and forget everyone that had become important. Henry tried to consider it like (real) death, but the randomness, the inability to do anything about it kept him from really accepting that comparison. Caring about people was kind of uncomfortable sometimes.
▸PLAYER
Name: Siren
Means of Contact:
Age: 30
▸CHARACTER
Name: Henry
Canon: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Age: ~20
Canon Point: Endgame: Grima
Background Information: (for the character) (for the game)
Personality:
One of the easiest things to notice about Henry is his optimism. His good-nature is untouchable, his laughter so common as to be a verbal tic in itself. It doesn't matter if he's insulted or threatened, if the barn's on fire, or the world is ending; nothing phases or upsets him, and the idea of keeping a grudge is a complete unknown. Though not particularly social, and with little-to-no experience with things like "friendship", his easygoing nature would make coexisting with him simple enough- if one can get over the fact that he's also overwhelmingly, shamelessly, morbid.
His attachment to death is nothing short of obsession. Anything terrible, anything gory and violent will attract his attention, and he'll volunteer as much as you (don't) want to hear about all the people he's killed. And it's not like this affects his disposition; Henry is exactly as cheerful when he's talking about blowing up foes, as he is about anything else (not that he talks about much else). People dying horribly is his most favorite topic, and he'll discuss everything with an ever-present smile.
But his form of enthusiasm can't be mistaken for excitement. Despite his professed love for battle and slaughter, he never loses control, is never taken by blood-lust or anything more than a cheerful appreciation for killing. His attitude remains unchanging, and his roster description in game names him "the one with the lowest heart rate." More than one character notes that they can't feel anything from Henry past that cordial morbidity, that for as friendly as he acts, it's ultimately hollow. Henry claims to not understand what they mean, laughing and changing the subject as soon as possible.
But regardless of his awareness of it, Henry doesn't feel much. If it weren't for the morbidity, it could seem like a net gain; he's not depressed or angry about the kind of life he's had, and he's free of things like anxiety or regret. Even if he's not genuinely happy, nor is he upset or dissatisfied.
If other characters are asked about their dreams, the answers are overwhelmingly positive. They want to be a fantastic knight, or to live a happy life- the worst is just refusing to answer. In contrast: "I want to die a horrible, bloody death that's completely painless....I don't like ouchies."
It's said alongside the same cheerfulness as anything else, and on its own it's just another example of his usual morbidity. But there's a pattern of depreciation in much of his dialogue, of having a lowered value towards himself and his own life. Henry appreciates threats, and will go out of his way to make his carnage sound as random and unsympathetic as possible, encouraging others to think poorly of him. He considers himself an "egoist," and avoids acknowledging ever doing anything for a non-selfish, non-violent reason. On the rare occasion when he's praised, he brushes it off or turns it back into a compliment for the other person. The only time when he accepts a "positive," or admits to being good at something, is when it's about his ability for murder.
It's not as though this personality happened overnight, and is more-or-less the direct result of his upbringing. His parents were neglectful, abandoning him to the forest during his youngest years, and Henry was primarily raised by animals instead of people. A wolf in particular was his best friend- at least, until she was killed by adults, after coming into his village to look for him. Henry murdered everyone involved, in what was likely a uncontrolled display, and it's implied that this was when his magical power really started to manifest.
At some point after this he was sent away to an orphanage/school, where his guardians were extremely abusive. Henry's vague about the details, only bringing up bits of it in passing, and claiming to not remember when pressed for more information. And even when he does say anything, he's light about it, looking back on punishments that he admits almost killed him as though they were fun. As an additional bonus, the experiences left him with permanent nerve damage, severely limiting his ability to feel pain. But he credits the place with developing his cheerful personality, and is quite agreeable to how he's ended up. Henry appears mostly in denial or unaware of his own psychological damage. He also mentions casting a hex that killed over a hundred people while he was there- and though it's unspecified when or how he left the facility, it's not hard to assume that mass-murder was involved.
And when it comes to other people, Henry is not good at considering them as people. Foes are great and fun to slaughter, and even allies are seen in much the same light. This was exceptionally true when he was with the Plegian army (Plegia being his home country), as he stayed there for only as long as it was interesting, and never formed any real connections to anyone. And fighting for Plegia never translated to caring remotely for their goals; he deliberately informs Plegia's enemies of a planned assassination of the Ylissen leader, purely to draw out the war they were in.
There was only one Plegian that Henry was said to listen to: a commander named Mustafa, who in Henry's own words, treated him as family. Mustafa's presence was enough to keep him around, even reliable- "docile and obedient" from the perspective of other soldiers. It's entirely possible that the man was the first human in his life to treat him kindly- but at that point in time, Henry was still incapable of things like empathy or sorrow, and when Mustafa was killed in battle, he was never shown to feel anything at all towards his death. But with the one person who could keep him in check gone, it was only a matter of time before his interests conflicted with the army's.
Loyalty wasn't a concept that existed to him. So when he came across a masked Ylissen fighting on 'his' own against a group of Plegians, Henry decided it would be much more interesting to switch sides in order to help out the lone knight. That this meant murdering his former comrades was only a bonus. Helping out the masked warrior a couple other times before the war's end, they amiably parted ways- Henry off to look for bloodier pastures.
It's two years later that he joins up with the protagonists properly, coming across their force by chance and deciding that he'd have more opportunities to kill people if he was with them.
(He was right.)
And it's only then that Henry begins to develop at all. It's definitely not something he puts any thought behind, and is surprised when the shift in his thinking is pointed out to him (a shift from "it would be fun to fight my friends to the death" to realizing he'd actually be very angry if anything happened to them).
To some degree, Henry is aware that he's not good with humans, and that his sense of morality is "a little messed up." He's honest about it when it comes up, and doesn't have any shame about his lack of humanity. And over time, with the way interaction works in Fire Emblem, Henry is capable of forming supports with other characters, and some semblance of genuine connection. He still doesn't get emotional about it, and tends to laugh off direct questions about friendship, but it is certain that when he cares about someone, he does so very intensely. If he avoids questions, it's not out of fear or embarrassment, but more an aversion to serious thought. And when he does admit to caring or love, it's abrupt and casual and entirely sincere. It's possible for him to marry/have a kid in game, and if so his epilogue states that he "became a surprisingly good father."
On the flip side, most characters consider Henry unpleasant and creepy when they first meet him. And when they meet him the second time. Henry doesn't mind this at all, and likes everyone as a default (in a "would be happy to cut open" kind of way).
He also thinks turning into animals would be pretty awesome, and loves the idea of horrible bodily mutations in general.
Appearance: Here
Abilities:
As a dark mage, Henry is capable of magic which falls into two main categories: tome spells and hexes/curses. Tomes are the equippable "weapons" mages carry in the game, each book containing a single type of spell with a limited number of uses. Tomes are elemental in nature (creating a burst of fire, or wind, etc.), are always aggressive, and rarely have any secondary effect. Hexes on the other hand, canon is delightfully vague about. They range from killing, altering memory or emotion, to minor, harmless things like giving someone a perpetually runny nose. Though it can't be used for outright healing, some illnesses can be "cured" by death-hexing the disease itself. At its core, hexing seems to be a match of wills; cursing an object or weak-minded human (or for that matter, a volunteer) is much easier than the alternative.
Though Henry's considered to be exceptionally good at hexing, he's limited by what he thinks is interesting, or has some motivation to figure out (which usually boils down to "can I kill someone with this?" Though he did attempt to come up with a curse for creating life, after noticing how much of a hindrance pregnancy could be for women. It didn't work.). Lack of materials can also keep a hex from being possible; the more dangerous or invasive a curse, the more likely he'll need some kind of catalyst for it. Additionally, most of his hexing in canon is done to nameless/generic soldiers, who presumably have much lower willpower than Player Characters. Of course, nothing would ever be attempted on characters without player consent.
On the non-magical side, Henry's near-inability to feel pain is sort of an ability. Though it can mean not noticing wounds, and bleeding out from them, which is something of a disadvantage. Henry also claims to be able to communicate with animals (and plants, anything that's alive). It's hard to tell whether this is a real ability, or a delusion (or just him making shit up), but he is good at reading body language in any case, and animals seem to like him. Crows in particular tend to congregate around him.
▸SAMPLES:
First Person: Here
Third Person:
Sand. The heat of the sun on his back. Henry comes to slowly, ground shifting underneath his palms as he pushes himself up, the movement awkward and disoriented. Looking up—
Ow. The mage winces, shielding his eyes from the glare; the sun was definitely in full force today. For a place that worshiped an apocalyptic dragon, Plegia sure was bright a lot of the time. Glancing to the side, blinking as his vision came back, Henry could see the worn bones of Grima's corpse (or a life-sized effigy, no one was really sure) jutting up from the ground, a stretch of backbone and cracked ribs. Even mostly buried by sand, the fragment reached meters above the ground, exposed and lifeless and very very bright. The very heart of Plegia.
The rough voice of a crow rouses him further, and Henry watches as it lands on one of the outcroppings of bone, a tiny, dark blight on the surface.
He shakes his head at it, getting from his knees to his feet, brushing sand off as he went. "Mm, I dunno where they are either."
Wait. They? It wasn't his Ylissen friends who came to mind, but others. A veritable rainbow of colors and shapes, people from entirely different worlds—
He remembered. He was home, but he remembered somehow, who knows how, and a sense of... several things all at once washed through him. Relief. A bit of loss? A look to his left hand showed a mess of scarring—but then he had just cut the top half of it off, it hadn't had time to heal more than that, even accelerated. Did that mean all his scars were intact?
Not that his surroundings made much sense either. There were no signs of people at all—and as desert as it was, Plegia's capital was set near Grima's bones, so there were always soldiers. Citizens of the city. Maybe they were all dead? But the sun was out, and there was no sign of the revived dragon anywhere.
Well, whatever. Sure, he couldn't make sense of any of this, and sure, he was still a bit giddy from the (unusually strong) actual emotion he'd had a minute ago, but whatever had happened, he wasn't too concerned. Maybe if he climbed up Grima's back he'd be able to see something more, or at least pick a direction to go in.
The bones are brittle under his hands, but Henry is light. They creak, but hold, and the crow keeps pace with him, flapping to ever higher knobs, cawing its encouragement (and impatience). It wasn't long until he'd reached the upper arc of bone, and if he tilted his head up—
Thump.
Reaching a hand above him—and oh, he'd just bumped his head on the sky, that was all. A second after that sank in, Henry sat down to consider, legs dangling over creaking bone. The sound he makes is purely quizzical.
It was still too bright to look at directly, but if he leaned his head, shielded his eyes a little—the sky was painted on. Painted on and impossibly realistic, and as his fingers brushed over the invisible grain, the texture didn't match the light or heat he could feel from it.
There was only one thing for it; humming a spell to himself, Henry reached up and touched the sky. And the sky cracked and crumbled, falling down in shining pieces, and once he'd made a hole big enough, Henry pushed his head through the clouds to see what was on the other side.
"Is anyone theeeeere...?!" Maybe there were monsters! And his head was in just the perfect position for a chomp. All he needed now was to get their attention.
▸ADDITIONS FOR CR TRANSFER FROM ANOTHER GAME:
Name of the Game: Ophiuchus
Length of Time in Game: Eight months
Summary of the Character's Activities:
- strangled to death
- develops asphyxiation fetish
Apart from that, he went on all the camping trips (because why not, maybe there was danger there!), and annoyed several people with his addition of crows to the Ophiucian environment.
Summary of the Character's Development:
Henry's development in Ophiuchus is partially a continuation of his development from canon—that he's still learning how humans interact, and that some people have a value beyond how fun they would be to kill (though that idea still remains his default). He was actually quite content there, despite the lack of battles—as he became attached to several people in a way that he hadn't at home (as he came in without an S-support). That it was even possible to attach to people in a non-war, non-military setting was a new idea in itself. Because of the game's sexual aspect, it forced more of a personal connection with others, even in casual encounters. It was a way of interacting with people that was practically unknown to him—and which worked oddly well, as it didn't rely on talking about "feelings" or silly things like that. And it was satisfying to be in a situation where expressing things like affection was more straightforward and physical (since even when sex wasn't involved, contact was more appropriate than it would've been in a normal world).
He was also able to experience death, which, honestly, was a huge deal to him, considering his obsession with it. It's non-permanence didn't lessen his enjoyment at all, but as he had sex at the same time, it really hastened his mental connection between the two.
By the end of his stay there, as more and more people were disappearing, the awareness that everything he had was ultimately impermanent was something that he couldn't entirely ignore. There was a sense of dissatisfaction that he was unequipped to deal with, that everyone he had could vanish into nothing, or that he could be pulled away himself and forget everyone that had become important. Henry tried to consider it like (real) death, but the randomness, the inability to do anything about it kept him from really accepting that comparison. Caring about people was kind of uncomfortable sometimes.